you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
