I want to stick my p in your. b.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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