i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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