ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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