I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
