I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
