Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
