I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
