Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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