i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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