I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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