What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
