If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
