margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
