And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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