But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
