My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
