As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
