is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
