Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
