So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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