So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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