you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Farmville is her only friend.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
