Are we in a gay sports bar?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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