their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
