Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
there is glitter all over my balls
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