but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
