But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
