in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
