We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
