You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
