the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
