Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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