Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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