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I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just want nice things and good sex
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
