you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
