tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
