better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
