My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
