Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
