I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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