let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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