No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
