Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
