I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize