If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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