he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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