i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
