$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
