It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
