Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
