this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
