Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
