I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
